Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
It's never too late to be topless.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Randomize
