i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
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