i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
