Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife š¬
How do I say āI have great titsā without it sounding awful
Couldāve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another manās cock... but there it is...
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