Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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