he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
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