Kiss
Puke
one might say we're banned from that church
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
