some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
