She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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