There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
