just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
