hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
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