this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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