the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
