Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
