There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
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