like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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