there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Randomize
