She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
