I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
