woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
