but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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