He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
he thought i was a dude.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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