'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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