I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
