Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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