Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize
