"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize
