New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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