u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
