We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
