Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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