I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
