I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
