Me. At least after what I've been through.
kristin has been a bad kristin
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
me + whiskey = a bad person
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
