real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
