I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
My brain says no but my pants say off.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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