I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
