bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
it's like iHOP with fire
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize