youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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