a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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