so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
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