When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
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