so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
