I'm pants shitting drunk right now
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
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