I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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