i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
