He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
