Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Randomize