I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
