Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Randomize
