Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize