areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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