i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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