So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
