In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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