yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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