remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
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