that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize