Kiss
Puke
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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