I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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