While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize