So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
