i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Randomize
