i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
